even a thousand "u will" can never cure me now.....
A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.
Abraham Cowley
My love is of a birth as rare
As ‘tis for object strange and high:
It was begotten by Despair
Upon Impossibility.
Andrew Marvell
it is so difficult to do what people wants you to do. they will never see it. to them they are always the right one. its never a time that they are wrong. this people are so godly that they can make you feel that you are to be blamed for everyting. and when you are there. trying to make a conversation. do they turn arnd and look at you... do they turn to ask you aniting. no.. and what will they say after that "oh you did not talk to them".. when they smile at you.. u wanted to smile back but gave a look just so that they will look at you more. coz you feel good when they look. but they turned away. and when u smiled... they didnt even look back. coz they feel that ur smile to so cheap that they can get it from anibody out there. you tried so hard to make everyone happy but deep down inside, you are dead. deep inside you are breaking. deep inside you are confused. you do not know what they are feeling at that moment. coz they might tell you a certain thing today. but when you saw them they next day.. it was as it nothing ever happen. it was as if nth was ever said. but u said nth. u didnt voice out. coz u know that watever u do. no matter how hard u try to change it. it can never be. so u smiled. u smiled just so that they smile. u feel that the wound in ur heart would heal. u tot that it would heal wif their smile. but wat they ever did was to tease you. you tried so hard to have a conversation. you stood somewhere near them so that they will turn and talk to you. but.. wat did they do? they never turn do they.. they pretended that you were never there. there pretended you were some kinf hollow man. u tried your very best to get your voice across. you sigh so they will turn and ask you why... but did they.. NO.. LIK wat i say.. you were invinsible. and then you walkled away.. you walked far away so that people will not see you.. and then you steal a glance. and guess wat you see.. they are happily talking to some other poeple, happily smiling and laughing. ur heart was never ok from hence forth. but when u decided to tell them.. wat did they say... they say you werent there when they talk. you know what they will say... they will deny everything. with a heavy heart you said u trust them. you trusted them even you know that they are lying. you tried so hard to make them happy... you tried so hard to get your message across. you ran the other direction and waited for them to look for you.. but did they.. they went on running. and when they saw you werent there they shouted for you TO FIND THEM. and when you did.. they put you at fault for everything. you took everything to yourself. you wither and died slowly from the inside. but you did not show it to them. coz you know they will never know how you feel. they have the faintest idea of how you feel. coz to them you are nth. a fren lik you can be picked up along the way. a fren lik you is everywhere. oh my.. i forgot.. they alrd have fren that can make them happy. and you feel that they dont need you animore. but you do not want to argue. you will seat down and stay shut. you will lie on ur bed a cry. and when nobodys looking you jus feel lik jumping down from the kitchen window.. coz it always open. and its coz u know that even the tears you shed writing this will never change anithing.