i know i have say that i wanna change. i wanna be the happiest people that u can ever see. i can fool others... but one thing i know is that i can never fool myself and this blog especially. this blog remind me of tonnes of memories. some gud and some bad. but mst importantly, this blog reminds me of all those sadness that i have buried deep inside me. from the day that my late grangfather utter this werds "U R USELESS" till now i have and indeed i still feel the pain. i have taken everything upon myself. i have blame myself for every other wrng thing that have been done; wether by me or by others. i have put myself to the lowliest position so that u and my frens will feel okay. but no. but it seems lik i have been taken for granted. u have seen me onli in the mistake that i have done and taken. u have seen me onli in tym when ur frens are not there. u see me onli in ur hour of needs... i should have seen this before i take everything upon myself. i should have known that its a nature of human behaviour to not see what they have until they lose it. but i can of myself do nothing. i am praying everyday and everynite so that i will find upon myself peace. im praying that i will not care so much animore. im praying that i have the strenght to think of my useless self for once. jus maybe jus maybe. may the heavenly creator hear me. for this useless man will never and can never walk wifout him. its amazing how the prophets can take all the blame and feel nth. they even take the blame for thing that they did not even make. haix....
